Falcon Chicks Hate Prologues

The Sucker Punch of Speculative Fiction Novels

I think the falcon-chick affect (see preceding post for explanation of this syndrome) is why a writer’s first novel generally doesn’t have a prologue. For a falcon chick reader, the prologue is the ultimate sucker punch.  It’s like saying, “Here, read this prologue, bond with the prologue protagonist, then learn in the first chapter that she died ten centuries before the main story begins.”

This may be why agents and editors don’t like to put them in a debut novelist’s first novel. Established writers can get away with using prologues, because they already have an audience that trusts them, and because they are less likely to use a prologue as an expository crutch.

Sampling a few debut novels from the last couple years seems to bear this out:

  • Thunderer, by Felix Gilman: no prologue.
  • The Windup Girl, by Paulo Baccigalupi: no prologue.
  • Low Town, by Daniel Polansky: no prologue.
  • The Girl of Fire and Thorns: no prologue.
  • The Desert of Souls, by Howard Jones: no prologue.

Notably, Gilman’s sequel, City of Gears, has a prologue. He proved himself.

Still, being an established author does not override my falcon-chick complex.  I can think of a few established authors I put down after I bonded with a prologue character who never reappears in the novel. Saberhagen’s The Book of Swords was one. Tigana, by Guy Gabriel Kay, was another. The only exception that comes to mind is the prologue to Martin’s A Game of Thrones, where the character relationships were so gorgeously crafted that (ironically) I forgave him when they died.

Kristin Nelson’s “Agent Reads the Slushpile” Workshop

I also noticed yesterday that when Kristin Nelson held a recent “first-pages” workshop she instructs participants to send the first couple pages of their manuscript: “It needs to be the actual, opening first 2 pages of your manuscript. If you have a prologue, skip it and grab page 1 and 2 from your chapter one.” That may be a coded form of Vonnegut’s advice to “throw away the first couple pages, because that’s where you explain everything” (see earlier posting on Vonnegut’s Writing Advice).

So the message to new writers of fantasy is clear: ditch the prologue till you’ve published. Of course, I had to be told this myself. In the fist draft of my first novel I had one. And it was hard to let it go: prologues are a nice crutch for exposition, and losing it made me work harder.

Falcon Chick and Reader Imprinting

When a falcon chick hatches, it bonds with its caretaker. In nature, it bonds with the parent falcons. Some falconers prefer parent-raised falcons, but others prefer hawks who have imprinted upon the falconer, so they make sure the first thing the little chick sees when it opens its eyes is the smiling falconer, food in hand.

Readers are like falcon chicks. When we open our eyes in the new world of a novel, we imprint on the first POV character we meet. I do, anyway, and many readers I know do, too: we bond with the first character we meet, and we expect the story to stick with them. If it turns out we bonded with a shill, a throwaway prologue character who never appears again in the book, or with some secondary character whose purpose was to somehow ease me into the world or plot, then I feel cheated. It makes me peevish. Often, I’ll ditch the book right there, as I did with Saberhagen’s immortal swords tome, and Guy Gabriel Kay’sTigana (I know! It’s supposed to be magnificent! I should have skipped the prologue!).

The only way I can explain my reaction to this misplaced imprinting is that the bonding state of my mind at the beginning of a novel is a vulnerable state of receptiveness and trust; it doesn’t last long, and once it’s imprinted on someone/something, it’s done. Any further imprinting is forced and artificial and therefore uncomfortable and second rate.

My Lesson?  Start the Story with my Main Character

I enjoy the watching the literary gymnastics of a story featuring numerous POV characters. Some writers like George R.R. Martin in A Game of Thrones, swap POVs every chapter, and it is truly impossible to tell who the main character is. This is compounded by his willingness to kill off literally any of the twelve main characters he’s created. He’s a master. He can do that. And when he does, he bends the genre and the realm of what readers expect and can handle. Maybe someday that kind of head-hopping will be standard.

As a general rule, however, it’s still best for the rest of us to start with our main POV character in the first chapter, so readers imprint on him or her immediately. Most readers expect that, and to break custom with that can be disorienting.

I used to start one of my novels with a secondary character POV episode that I thought was a fun way to set the world and tone before the main character entered the story. Readers convinced me to move that passage to a later chapter when they were already grounded in their main character POV.

It’s also interesting to note that when a person scans the first pages of a book in a bookstore or on Amazon, part of what they are doing is assessing whether the main character is someone whose head they want to be in for the rest of the book. Having that character up front and center is part of their expectation, and part of what sells the book.

 

World Building: Gods and Humans – Through a Glass, Darkly

ICE

In the late 90s I lived in Charlottesville, Virginia, where I did some contract writing for the guys at Iron Crown Enterprises, the creators of the wonderful Role Master fantasy role-playing system.

At the time they were designing a game world for a new series of modules, and the game designer, John Curtis III, mentioned something that struck me as odd at the time and so it sticks with me today.  After explaining to me the intricacies of the world’s cosmology–how his world and it’s peoples were created by what gods and for what purposes–he said, “but that’s just half of it. Now I have to figure out how each of those peoples think the world was created and by whom for what purpose. None of the mortals would know the real story, only nuggets of truth here and there.”

I think of that as the “Through a glass, darkly” principle in worldbuilding. Even Christianity, which claims to be the sole true religion in this world, doesn’t claim that humans are capable of full understanding of the divine in this life. Of this world and the next Saint Paul wrote, “We see now through a glass darkly, but then we shall see face to face.” Likewise the mortals of ICE’s game world were granted only a dim and muddled view of its cosmological reality.

If you go with that metaphor for your world, the people’s mythologies will  be only a shadow of what is actually going on, warped by human passions and frailties and limitations.

Playing with the Glass

Those warpings can be lots of fun.  They’ll show up in contradictory scriptural passages like “God is a jealous god”, “God is love,” and “Love is never jealous.”   (Wait, what?)  It will show up in confabulations of folklore and scripture, like some of the Jewish golem stories, and in outright imaginative superstition, like imbedding nails in the shape of a cross in the heel of your left boot to keep the devil off your trail, as Pap does in Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Making up your own versions of that is plain fun.

The Curse of Chalion

One of my favorite examples of a secondary world designed upon the “through the glass darkly” principle is Lois McMaster Bujold’s Curse of Chalion universe.  The gods in that world are very present but so inscrutable as to seem arbitrary at times, remote beyond human understanding. In books like that, I feel I’m being made to examine life and spirituality from a new angle, and I value that. But just as important is the simple verisimilitude of such crafting; it resonates with the way humans experience the divine in –through a glass, darkly–and thus brings credibility to the world.

Of course, you might well decide to create a world in which the gods live in the temples among their priests, and if there is any dispute in doctrine the priests simply ask the god, who settles it definitively.  (Such a world presents an entirely different set of challenges.)

World Building: Vonnegut’s Advice to Writers

Vonnegut’s Advice in Tacoma

In 1986 or so I attended a lecture given by Kurt Vonnegut at Pacific Lutheran University. It was a “Creative Writing” conference, and he was the keynote speaker. After an hour of ranting about Ronald Reagan, he paused, took a drink of water, and said, “Well, I guess I should say something about writing now, since this is an English major conference. So I’ll give you two pieces of advice. First of all, if you want to be a creative writer, don’ t be an English major. English majors learn too much taste, and once you learn to be tasteful, you can’t be creative. I was a Chemistry major.

“The other thing is this: Go ahead and write your story, then throw away the first pages, because that’s when you explain everything. And when you explain everything, no one gives a damn any more.”

Loved that guy. I could see the professors in the room forcing smiles on their rebellious faces.

World Building: Flashlights & Story Questions

Game Designer Insight

I heard a game designer describe world building in a way that is also relevant to fantasy writers. He said, “You the designer have a floodlight, but the gamer only gets a flashlight.” What he meant by that is that as the designer or writer you know the world inside out–its history, its background, its mythology and genealogies–but the gamer or reader will never experience the vast majority of that. It’s for you, the designer to know, so you can steer the story.

It’s the same basic message as the iceberg metaphor: your world’s background would make great reading for an encyclopedia fetishist, but lousy slogging for story readers.

Another Reason to be Stingy with Exposition

As it turns out, readers are as motivated by unanswered questions about your world as they are the cool things you reveal. It’s those unanswered “story questions” that keep the reader turning the pages to find out the answers.

(For more on the idea of not revealing to much to your readers, see entries below.)

World Building: Fashion in Speculative Fiction

Fun with Folly

Excellent spec fic writers build this absurdity into the worlds they create. Recently, I’ve noticed two wonderful examples of writers or directors who employ this understanding to great effect.  The first is George R. R. Martin, whose Slave Masters in the fifth Game of Thrones book have wonderfully absurd hairstyles sculpted in shapes like bird wings or rearing animals or supplicant hands in primary colors.  The women in that culture wear tokars, which are essentially a kind of fancy mummy wrap from the armpits down, making it almost impossible to walk.

Hunger Games Fashion

The other example is the designer of the costumes, hairstyles and make-up of the elite “capitol” culture in the film adaptation of The Hunger Games. Wonderful world building.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

World Building: High Fashion Through the Ages

The Emperor Has Clothes, and They are Ridiculous

The wonderful absurdity of fashion is not a new phenomenon either, as witnessed by the bizarre confections of silk and wool dreamed up by renaissance tailors in Italy. Collars of any era are likely to have a high absurdity factor—think of the Virgin Queen, or John Travolta’s character in Saturday Night Fever.  Shoes are also common offenders, and hairstyles.

Recently I viewed a Roman tomb that captured in stone a noblewoman’s hairstyle from the decade she died, which appeared to be a mass of tight curls piled in what can be only be described as a cross between a beehive with a radar dish.

Wonderful article, by the way, in which a hair dresser plays archeologist to explain how these crazy roman hairdoos defied gravity:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/22/ancient-roman-hair-janet-stephens_n_2925152.html

 

Filtering Setting Through Character Point of View

Third Person Limited

Third person limited (TPL) is one of the most common POVs these days. TPL means we the readers are passengers in the POV character’s mind, limited to what he or she notices and thinks. If the character doesn’t see the orc creeping up behind them, the reader doesn’t get to, either.Since the character couldn’t know what the orc is thinking, the reader doesn’t get to, either.

Third Person Omniscient (or, Third Person Unlimited)

In “third person omniscient” (TPO) we would not be limited to the character’s knowledge; the narrator is omniscient, and can get inside anyone’s head. We get to find out what the stalking orc is feeling, what his victim is thinking right before the attack, and even the hidden metal armor the character is wearing under his shirt. TPO was a common POV back in the day, but these days it’s fairly rare.

Third Person Limited also Limits What a Character Would Notice

For instance, if a character has lived on a street all his or her life, she probably won’t even notice any more how it is laid out. So the reader doesn’t get to know either.

Sample

Bob paused in the shadow of the alley behind the inn, waiting for the fat man with the fatter purse to exit the bar and stumble by.  Across the river the Knarlytooth mountains rose to 8000 feet, glacially carved into spectacular spires of granite and dolomite. 

Seriously?  Why the hell would Bob pause to think about the geology of the mountains across the water?  Answer:  he wouldn’t!  So the reader doesn’t get to, either.

The only way we get to learn about the mountains is if the mountains were somehow relevant to Bob in that scene–like, say, the moon was about to rise from behind them and reveal his position–then he’s worried about them, and so we get to see them.  It might go like this:

Bob paused in the shadow of the alley behind the inn, waiting for the fat man with the fatter purse to exit the bar and stumble by.  He glanced over his shoulder at the jagged peaks of the Knarleytooth mountains, the granite spires backlit with the rising moon. Two minutes, maybe less, he judged, before the moon cleared the lowest pass and illuminated the streets. He bit off a curse and returned his attention to the inn. If his mark didn’t show soon, he’d have to give it up.

Conclusion

The rule here is this filter your world details through the point-of-view character. Make the world details matter to the action/concerns at hand.

World Building: Fashion

Trial and Error

Soon after reading Neutron Star for the first time, one of my students appeared with an asymmetric beard, and it actually looked pretty cool.  He had very thick facial hair, so he could do extremely precise designs in it; I imagine sparse beards would not look so good.   In any case, Niven’s use of the asymmetric beard got me thinking of the wonderful absurdity of fashions when viewed across cultures (or even within cultures).

Universal Absurdity

No era is immune to this absurdity.  As evidence, I submit to you the saggy ass-pants of teen culture.  (Really?  You want to show me your underpants?) Nor is it only sub-cultures who are guilty, as anyone can tell you who has picked up their high school yearbook after twenty years away. If you haven’t lived that long and you think your high school yearbook pictures look “bomb,” just you wait.  You’ll cringe. Or wait until you show them to your kids.  “Mommy, what was wrong with your hair?”

Yours Truly

Exhibit two, my sophomore tolo picture.  That’s right.  I’m wearing a brown tuxedo with brown-accents on the ruffled shirt and cuffs.  Eat your heart out.

Worldbuilding: Fashion & the Mirror of Speculative Fiction

Larry Niven wrote a wonderful book called Neutron Star, which I love to read now and again. The book is a series of loosely related short stories in which he lays out the universe he would later use for Ringworld.  In one of the stories, he describes a character as having an “asymmetric beard” that was fashionable on his planet. Niven never gives us any more description than that—part of the genius of his story telling—and as a result my imagination conjured up all kinds of wild facial designs and effects, each on the face of a man confident that he looks good. 

At the time, I had never seen or imagined an asymmetric beard, so the idea tickled me.  It especially tickled me that Niven’s character considered his lopsided facial hair to be totally ordinary, even attractive, and it made me think how many things I wear that might be just as whimsical to an outsider.

This is one of the reasons we read fantasy and science fiction—to have the mirror held up to ourselves, a new glass in which to see our own assumptions and behaviors in a new way.

 

Filtering Details of Setting Through Character Point of View

Bob paused in the shadow of the alley behind the inn, waiting for the fat man with the fatter purse to exit the bar and stumble by.  Across the river the Knarlytooth mountains rose to 8000 feet, glacially carved into spectacular spires of granite and dolomite. 

Seriously?  Why the hell would Bob pause to think about the geology of the mountains across the water?  Answer:  he wouldn’t!  So we don’t get to, either.  This POV is called “third person limited” and is the most common these days.  TPL means we the readers are passengers in the POV character’s mind, limited to what he notices.  In “third person omniscient” we would not be limited to his knowledge, but that POV is fairly rare these days.

The only way we get to learn about the mountains is if the mountains were somehow relevant to Bob in that scene–like, say, the moon was about to rise from behind them and reveal his position–then he’s worried about them, and so we get to see them.  It might go like this:

Bob paused in the shadow of the alley behind the inn, waiting for the fat man with the fatter purse to exit the bar and stumble by.  He glanced over his shoulder at the jagged peaks of the Knarleytooth mountains, the broken spires backlit with the rising moon. Two minutes, maybe less, he judged, before the moon cleared the lowest pass and illuminated the alley. He stifled a curse and turned his attention back to the inn. If his mark didn’t show soon, he’d have to give it up.

The rule here is this:  filter your world details through the point-of-view character. We the readers only get to see/experience what the POV character would notice.

Michael Swanwick does this masterfully in Stations of the Tide. Check out this passage from the first chapter. In it, the protagonist, known only as “the bureaucrat,” is of on a space ship, skimming over the surface of distant planet on a mission for his department.

“Smell the air,” Korda’s surrogate said.

The bureaucrat sniffed… “Could use a cleansing, I suppose.”

“You have no romance in your soul.” The surrogate leaned against the windowsill, straight-armed, looking like a sentimental skeleton. the flickering image of Korda’s face reflected palely in the glass. “I’d give anything to be down here in your place.”

That’s all you get for the explanation of what the hell a surrogate is, or who Korda is, because we are experiencing this passage through the bureaucrat’s POV, and to him a surrogate’s as common as a cordless phone to us, and he knows Korda well.  The bureaucrat will neither pause to reflect on the marvel of surrogate technology for our benefit, nor on his relationship with Korda, both of which he takes for granted; we are therefore left to piece it all together through his perspective as the story unfolds.

Their dialogue stretches over four pages, and it’s pretty easy to figure out that Korda is his boss, but we only get one small clue on each page as to what a surrogate is. Here are the clues, excerpted from the action of the dialogue.

…”Korda moved away from the window, bent to pick up an empty candy dish, and glanced at its underside. There was a fussy nervousness to his motions strange to one who had actually met him.  Korda in person was heavy and lethargic.  Surrogation seemed to bring out a submerged persona, an overfastidious little man normally kept drowned in flesh.”

…”The surrogate reopened the writing desk, removed a television set, and switched it on.”

…”They shook hands, and Korda’s face vanished from the surrogate. On automatic, the device returned itself to storage.”

In the end, I’ve pieced something together about this wonderful piece of worldbuilding known as the surrogate, and what I come up with is pretty damned cool. But Swanwick never explains it to us. He sticks religiously to what his POV would notice about the situation.

In the end, this sort of writing relies on me to do some of the lifting, and I dig that. It’s a big reason I buy everything he writes. There aren’t a lot of writers who do it as well as he does, and if I ever do it half as well I’ll be pretty damned proud of it.

World Building: You Are Building an Iceberg

Though I create a complex world in which my characters live, my readers only encounter a fraction of what I know of it. Only the tip of the iceberg is experienced by the readers, and that’s good!  The action would be smothered in exposition if the whole iceberg were hauled out onto the page.

I learned this the hard way, burying the action in my stories with details of setting.  The general rule I eventually came up with is this:  Reveal only as much information as is absolutely necessary for the reader to understand the action at hand

The best example of this sort of narrative economy I’ve ever read is in Michael Swanwick’s Stations of the Tide, for which he deservedly won the 1991 Nebula for best novel.  In fact, the economy is so severe in that novel that at times I felt my head spinning.  (What the hell’s a surrogate?  He doesn’t explain it. He just names it and moves on!)  And I enjoy that as a reader: he doesn’t hold my hand, he makes me work.

All the same, that kind of economy is probably why it won the Nebula, which is voted in by fantasy/scifi authors, rather than a Hugo, which is voted in by fans.

World Building: Songs

World Building:  Songs

Every culture has oral tradition, and before easy TV entertainment it was vitally important for entertainment and sharing ideas. Tolkien understood this, and peppered his work with everything from hobbit folk songs to elvish high poetry.

I don’t advocate lots of elvish poetry; many readers don’t have the patience for elvish epics any more.  But a few touches of oral culture lend authenticity and depth to an imagined world.

Example pending:

 

 

Worldbuilding: Ballads

To create the impression of rich literary culture you needn’t write whole epics; all it takes is a recited verse here and there.  Here’s one from a bawdy ballad about a once favored knight:

In all his battles, all his fields,

Sir Willard proved the best.

He served the queen,

(But then her maid),

And never more was blessed.

                                                               —From “Black Armor Becomes Him,” Arkendian ballad circa early reign of Evandora

Worldbuilding: Children’s Rhymes

Some of the best fun to be had is in making children’s rhymes for your oral culture. Children’s rhymes also have the virtue of being short, so they are easy to fit in here or there. I used the following rhyme in The Jack of Souls to help illustrate the harshness of the world and its three-moon mythos:

Red Moon, White Moon, full in the sky,

Red like a witch’s evil eye.

Black eats White,

And leaves the Red.

Krato’s Moon!  We’ll all be dead!

 

                                                               —Arkendian children’s rhyme portraying the

                                                                   Eclipse of the Bright Mother by the Unseen

                                                                   Moon; Arkendians call it Krato’s Moon.